I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
