White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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