No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
