Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
