I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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