Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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(516): View more from New York

so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me

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(847): View more from Illinois

better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say

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(417): View more from Missouri

Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.

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(518): View more from New York

Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday

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