Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love you.
Bad choice
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
