if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize