he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize