It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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