Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
