My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
