Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no you cant smoke seaweed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
