Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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