Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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