it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
