apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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