Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
