You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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