I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
