The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
