she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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