so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
