bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
