whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
