And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
