didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
