I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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