...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
