his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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