I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
