no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
