I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
