Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Farmville is her only friend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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