woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
