If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
