the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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