i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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