Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
