Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
