On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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