I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
