I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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