he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
