they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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