I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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