I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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