She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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