I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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