I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
