It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
