Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He passed out mid-signature
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
