i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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