he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
