I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
