You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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