I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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