What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
