Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
