we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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