He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
